POP LO!

Ah yes, finally the time has come for my computer to be revived! But I digress (in my opening line at that). So 'A' level results are out, Tekong (Since Word gives me a spelling error, for those who don't know, Tekong is where all young Singapore men and some women go.) is out for now too and let me say it just once more. POP LO!

A levels were well, given my great prioritization skills, studies never figured highly on my list so the fact that I don't have to re take my 'A's or fret over getting into University is saying quite a bit. Nevertheless, it could have been better but I'm not complaining especially since my 2 years in AC have well quashed a lot of pre perceived misconceptions that I've had about that institution. Well not that it has come to pass; I shall let it remain in the dusts of my memories where it'll well, collect dust. And then there's that thing about University application which I don't understand. Why must we pay 10 bucks or 15 if you're aiming for that slightly cooler but with limited choices University. The Universities claim it's an admin fee but since everything is done online, what other admin is left? In secondary school and I remember this CLEARLY, appealing to CERTAIN institutions required a fee of 10 bucks. That I could understand because the school was trying to make a quick buck. Lol, not really but because there was lots of paperwork to be done. And that 10 bucks wasn't refundable either. Looking back I should just have bought some spray paint cans and newspapers and lighter... Damn. So today is 20 March 2008, and I've another 10 days to procrastinate my University application. Whee.

Now on to my POP. Yes I know it's slightly late but it was memorable nonetheless. I must say I'm glad I didn't cough chao keng (Hokkien for skive) for once. And to make it slightly more memorable, I've decided to upload (a) picture. Yes you read that right; it's no grammatical error because I am going to upload a single picture. LOL. And it's not some stupid smiley face picture because I'll leave that to the thousands of other blogs out there to do the honor.

For me, I'd only break my tradition and post this single picture because it does mean something to me. See, for once in my life, I actually passed out of something happily. To my commanders and damn it you guys ever find this, thanks for the 3 months (of hell). Appreciate it because everyone says unit life can only get worse. And that can be all I can say about BMT, because I've been warned yet again not to speak about training outside of training. So suckers, if you want so find out more, sign on lor!

2008 second post!

I must be getting better at this or something but at least now I've something to write about. So here goes.

10 things I’ve learnt in the last 2 weeks.

1. I’ve learnt to count from 1 to 20 very well.

2. I’ve learnt that half left down, drop 20 and carry on all mean the same thing. Well if you asked me they would have made more sense in a single sentence. As in, half left position down, carry on 20 or something to that effect. But all the same these aren’t on my top 10 list of favorite phrases at the moment.

3. I’ve learnt that tacticalise is actually a word. It’s abit like agga-ration (Approximation) and suay-ness (Unluckiness?).
   

4. I’ve learnt that not bathing for 6 days straight can result in the growth of stuff on the strangest parts of your body.

5. I’ve learnt that panadol is indeed a cureall and contrary to pharmaceutical knowledge, panadol is also good for cough, flu, giddiness, vertigo, insanity, etc. Awesome and you wondered how those pharmaceutical companies survive.

6. I’ve learnt that there’s something better than doggie sex and that’s wild boar sex.

7. I’ve learnt that it’s perfectly alright to shit or pee in public cos all your buddies are doing it too.

8. I’ve learnt that food always taste better cooked and warm. Eating with utensils is optional.

9. I’ve learnt that straddling your wife or lying on top of her or hugging her till point of suffocation is perfectly fine as long as wife is a rifle.

And finally,

10. I’ve learnt that what does not kill you makes you stronger.

Alright, that must be all for now because poor brain is feeling highly drained as it has become unaccustomed to doing intellectual stuff (opps!) like typing this entry. So, as always, I try my best not to write into unchartered territory and as always though I've yet to specify but I'll do so right now, the opinions expressed here are solely that of the author and are in no part a representation of the organization he is apart of. Once again, I don't believe in outright criticism , threats or slander online because it's one plain pussy behavior and more importantly, it would get me into alot of trouble.

So I sincerely hope my post today as have all my other posts been would serve to entertain readers and provide a tongue in cheek account of whatever shit that's been coming my way. Once again, your long suffering and slightly anonymous (As I would like to believe) author, nofing.

2008 first post!

Yes, it's the start of the new year, new school, new clothes, new friends, new haircut and well essentially everything's new. Except of course my rifle which the sergeants refer to in most polite terms as a prostitute. But well what can I say? Welcome to the SAF. And that's all I'll say about the SAF no thanks to the Official Secrets Acts chapter something which says I shouldn't say bad or untrue things about SAF and given my rather imaginative writing, I guess I had better steer clear of any matters related to the SAF. So yes the only thing you can take away from this entry about the SAF is, the m16 is a prostitute. Lol.

So, for the first time in 12 years, I kicked off a new year without books, or any forewarning of "This is a very important year so you guys better buck up." Oh no, this year began with "You guys better buck up before we fuck you upside down." Anyway, that's beside the point. Today I want to talk about doggie sex. No actually I don't want to but then there's really nothing else much to talk about is there? I mean I spend almost all my time in the new Bintan resort north of Singapore and I'm not allowed to talk about my time there.

Alright, I shall make my New Year resolutions then since one, I haven't made them even though we'll well into the new year and two, there's nothing else to talk about. So here comes my 2008 resolutions and for the record, I've not kept up with my 2007 resolutions so I don't think this will be any different but what the hell.

1. I will learn not to put David and chao keng (Hokkien for slacker) in the same sentence.
2. I will learn to differentiate fatigue work from sai kang. (Some foreign language for fatigue work)
3. I will however learn to put sai kang warrior and chao keng in the same sentence.
4. I will realise that David is a sai kang warrior too therefore resolution 1 is void. Great.
5. I will not mention doggie sex again.

That must be about all. The next time I come here, I shall come up with the nofing's guide to being an effective chao keng worker. Or something to that effect.