2008 second post!

I must be getting better at this or something but at least now I've something to write about. So here goes.

10 things I’ve learnt in the last 2 weeks.

1. I’ve learnt to count from 1 to 20 very well.

2. I’ve learnt that half left down, drop 20 and carry on all mean the same thing. Well if you asked me they would have made more sense in a single sentence. As in, half left position down, carry on 20 or something to that effect. But all the same these aren’t on my top 10 list of favorite phrases at the moment.

3. I’ve learnt that tacticalise is actually a word. It’s abit like agga-ration (Approximation) and suay-ness (Unluckiness?).
   

4. I’ve learnt that not bathing for 6 days straight can result in the growth of stuff on the strangest parts of your body.

5. I’ve learnt that panadol is indeed a cureall and contrary to pharmaceutical knowledge, panadol is also good for cough, flu, giddiness, vertigo, insanity, etc. Awesome and you wondered how those pharmaceutical companies survive.

6. I’ve learnt that there’s something better than doggie sex and that’s wild boar sex.

7. I’ve learnt that it’s perfectly alright to shit or pee in public cos all your buddies are doing it too.

8. I’ve learnt that food always taste better cooked and warm. Eating with utensils is optional.

9. I’ve learnt that straddling your wife or lying on top of her or hugging her till point of suffocation is perfectly fine as long as wife is a rifle.

And finally,

10. I’ve learnt that what does not kill you makes you stronger.

Alright, that must be all for now because poor brain is feeling highly drained as it has become unaccustomed to doing intellectual stuff (opps!) like typing this entry. So, as always, I try my best not to write into unchartered territory and as always though I've yet to specify but I'll do so right now, the opinions expressed here are solely that of the author and are in no part a representation of the organization he is apart of. Once again, I don't believe in outright criticism , threats or slander online because it's one plain pussy behavior and more importantly, it would get me into alot of trouble.

So I sincerely hope my post today as have all my other posts been would serve to entertain readers and provide a tongue in cheek account of whatever shit that's been coming my way. Once again, your long suffering and slightly anonymous (As I would like to believe) author, nofing.

2008 first post!

Yes, it's the start of the new year, new school, new clothes, new friends, new haircut and well essentially everything's new. Except of course my rifle which the sergeants refer to in most polite terms as a prostitute. But well what can I say? Welcome to the SAF. And that's all I'll say about the SAF no thanks to the Official Secrets Acts chapter something which says I shouldn't say bad or untrue things about SAF and given my rather imaginative writing, I guess I had better steer clear of any matters related to the SAF. So yes the only thing you can take away from this entry about the SAF is, the m16 is a prostitute. Lol.

So, for the first time in 12 years, I kicked off a new year without books, or any forewarning of "This is a very important year so you guys better buck up." Oh no, this year began with "You guys better buck up before we fuck you upside down." Anyway, that's beside the point. Today I want to talk about doggie sex. No actually I don't want to but then there's really nothing else much to talk about is there? I mean I spend almost all my time in the new Bintan resort north of Singapore and I'm not allowed to talk about my time there.

Alright, I shall make my New Year resolutions then since one, I haven't made them even though we'll well into the new year and two, there's nothing else to talk about. So here comes my 2008 resolutions and for the record, I've not kept up with my 2007 resolutions so I don't think this will be any different but what the hell.

1. I will learn not to put David and chao keng (Hokkien for slacker) in the same sentence.
2. I will learn to differentiate fatigue work from sai kang. (Some foreign language for fatigue work)
3. I will however learn to put sai kang warrior and chao keng in the same sentence.
4. I will realise that David is a sai kang warrior too therefore resolution 1 is void. Great.
5. I will not mention doggie sex again.

That must be about all. The next time I come here, I shall come up with the nofing's guide to being an effective chao keng worker. Or something to that effect.