2008 second post!

I must be getting better at this or something but at least now I've something to write about. So here goes.

10 things I’ve learnt in the last 2 weeks.

1. I’ve learnt to count from 1 to 20 very well.

2. I’ve learnt that half left down, drop 20 and carry on all mean the same thing. Well if you asked me they would have made more sense in a single sentence. As in, half left position down, carry on 20 or something to that effect. But all the same these aren’t on my top 10 list of favorite phrases at the moment.

3. I’ve learnt that tacticalise is actually a word. It’s abit like agga-ration (Approximation) and suay-ness (Unluckiness?).
   

4. I’ve learnt that not bathing for 6 days straight can result in the growth of stuff on the strangest parts of your body.

5. I’ve learnt that panadol is indeed a cureall and contrary to pharmaceutical knowledge, panadol is also good for cough, flu, giddiness, vertigo, insanity, etc. Awesome and you wondered how those pharmaceutical companies survive.

6. I’ve learnt that there’s something better than doggie sex and that’s wild boar sex.

7. I’ve learnt that it’s perfectly alright to shit or pee in public cos all your buddies are doing it too.

8. I’ve learnt that food always taste better cooked and warm. Eating with utensils is optional.

9. I’ve learnt that straddling your wife or lying on top of her or hugging her till point of suffocation is perfectly fine as long as wife is a rifle.

And finally,

10. I’ve learnt that what does not kill you makes you stronger.

Alright, that must be all for now because poor brain is feeling highly drained as it has become unaccustomed to doing intellectual stuff (opps!) like typing this entry. So, as always, I try my best not to write into unchartered territory and as always though I've yet to specify but I'll do so right now, the opinions expressed here are solely that of the author and are in no part a representation of the organization he is apart of. Once again, I don't believe in outright criticism , threats or slander online because it's one plain pussy behavior and more importantly, it would get me into alot of trouble.

So I sincerely hope my post today as have all my other posts been would serve to entertain readers and provide a tongue in cheek account of whatever shit that's been coming my way. Once again, your long suffering and slightly anonymous (As I would like to believe) author, nofing.

2008 first post!

Yes, it's the start of the new year, new school, new clothes, new friends, new haircut and well essentially everything's new. Except of course my rifle which the sergeants refer to in most polite terms as a prostitute. But well what can I say? Welcome to the SAF. And that's all I'll say about the SAF no thanks to the Official Secrets Acts chapter something which says I shouldn't say bad or untrue things about SAF and given my rather imaginative writing, I guess I had better steer clear of any matters related to the SAF. So yes the only thing you can take away from this entry about the SAF is, the m16 is a prostitute. Lol.

So, for the first time in 12 years, I kicked off a new year without books, or any forewarning of "This is a very important year so you guys better buck up." Oh no, this year began with "You guys better buck up before we fuck you upside down." Anyway, that's beside the point. Today I want to talk about doggie sex. No actually I don't want to but then there's really nothing else much to talk about is there? I mean I spend almost all my time in the new Bintan resort north of Singapore and I'm not allowed to talk about my time there.

Alright, I shall make my New Year resolutions then since one, I haven't made them even though we'll well into the new year and two, there's nothing else to talk about. So here comes my 2008 resolutions and for the record, I've not kept up with my 2007 resolutions so I don't think this will be any different but what the hell.

1. I will learn not to put David and chao keng (Hokkien for slacker) in the same sentence.
2. I will learn to differentiate fatigue work from sai kang. (Some foreign language for fatigue work)
3. I will however learn to put sai kang warrior and chao keng in the same sentence.
4. I will realise that David is a sai kang warrior too therefore resolution 1 is void. Great.
5. I will not mention doggie sex again.

That must be about all. The next time I come here, I shall come up with the nofing's guide to being an effective chao keng worker. Or something to that effect.

Musings

Alright, it's been long since I've posted anything here. Seems I always start every post with that line eh? But anyway, it's pretty true. So, one week of the As have concluded and there's 3 more weeks to go. But that's beside the point. Today, I've decided to talk about happiness. Yep, I realized the most important thing in life is being happy.

Now what exactly is happiness? Honestly, no dictionary definition would accurately describe happiness but I believe happiness is a state of mind. It's not something which one can actively seek for. Then again, people don't ask for happiness. They would ask for money, gadgets, grades, etc. something which would make them happy. Which is kind of strange because isn't happiness what we really want? People say, "Oh if only I had this, or that then I would be really happy." Now that's a really misguided statement. The object alone doesn't make one happy. Therefore, the first thing to note is having something won't make one happy.

What then would bring happiness? For me, I find that having new stuff or good grades don't make me happy. Yea maybe for a day or less there's that feeling of euphoria… Until I discover someone else has something newer or someone else did better than me and then I feel sad. Lol and believe me, it's pretty damn true. And why don't I feel happy anymore? Cos I ain't satisfied. Maybe it's just me but I don't like to lose out on anything. Maybe it's my personality or my star sign or what not or maybe it's just something about humans and satisfaction. So the key point here is being satisfied that is, being contented with what one has. And it's only when one is fully contented with what one has then can one happy. Sounds real simple but in reality it's hard.

Alright, as usual given my lazy nature, I shall just leave this post hanging here. It's not directed towards anyone but more towards myself actually so don't mind me. It's just that sometimes when we get too caught up in something; we actually forget what we were there for in the first place. And that's very dangerous because we lose sight of the original purpose and in doing so, have lost our ability to be happy. So when something seems to be drawing you in too deep take a step back and think about the situation; whether or not your current objectives were the same as when you first stepped in. That would be in itself an ideal benchmark to see how far you've deviated and perhaps it's time to come on home.

Reflections

Yes, the time has finally come. Tomorrow's the day I officially graduate from AC or in AC's more fanciful terms, the Baccalaureate Service. Either way, it's the day we say bye bye. And so, I'm here today to muse for one last time, my life at AC.

For one, I realized it's the people who make the school. Not the 'culture' or the 'school spirit' or whatever. So obviously, AC last year was a pretty bad time for me given the sudden uproot from familiar ground and being thrown into a sea of unfamiliar faces. But over time, things did get better. Also, AC had some shit ass rules last year which somehow appear less hiong (slang for tough) this year. Either the D comm decided to cut us some slack (highly unlikely) or I somehow managed to find ways to circumvent the rules. And since it's the last day of school, I think I shall cut the school some slack too and avoid poking too much fun at them. And since I'm feeling nice, maybe I'll say some nice things 'bout AC too.

For one, not all AC people are f(^&ed up and in this regard, not all ACS(I) and ACS(B) are pain in the asses (PITA) either. Granted, there appears to be a higher ratio of f(^&ers here but no, the ACS schools aren't always the main contributors. But this piece isn't about where AC gets all it's f(^&ers from. What I want to say is, having been in AC for the better of 2 years, I can safely conclude that it's not all happy and sundry. Yes, people fight, party, hate Chinese (language), discriminate, etc. But don't all schools experience them too? In fact, AC has a fair number of muggers too! Unlike yours truly who's spent the better of 2 years doing nothing but Dota. Well we'll come to that in just abit.

Ah yes, Dota, the game which unites many ACSians. Yep, I'm proud to say I've gotten to know more of my schoolmates over a game or 2 or more of Dota. So you see, computer games do have their benefits too. But playing too much does have detrimental effects, like failing Physics. But then again there's more to failing Physics. See, AC's Physics department is like the Defence of the Dark Arts in Hogwarts. The teachers are well, comparable to those in Potter land. And for the uninitiated, we're talking werewolves, lunatics, psychos and many other 'dark' things. And well, basically the subject itself plain sucks. I mean why would we ever want to know whether a ball will ever go through a wall if you throw it enough times, or say determine the amount of force needed to be exerted by our body to do a pull up. Physics is just plain weird and I'm sure many will agree. But of course, there'll be the usual detractors who would say Physics is applied Maths blah blah blah. Well face it, you guys are the anomaly. Ah yes, the only Physics term I've ever learnt. Anomaly. Meaning, them strange people who get aroused by lamda, F=ma and the like.

Alright, I shall stop here for now. Can't really bear to have the D comm come a calling at this time of the year.

Now before I end, I shall need to have my thank you speech which is customary whenever one leaves an organization for another.

First up, I wanna thank my friends who made my 2 years in AC not only bearable but fun too. It was an amazing journey and hopefully in future, we'll meet up again. So to, Thumb, EP, Jotham, KH, Corny, Kwok, Wes, Jason, Ming Hua, Chen, Si Jay, Julian, Muzz, Onwin, and the many more whom I may have left out, (I mean I couldn't just have known 14 people in AC eh?) thanks for the memories and all the best in your future endeavors. And then of course, my teachers who surprisingly were pretty nice people. I mean compared to some teachers in the past, AC's teachers (At least those who taught me) are almost like Mother Theresa. Pretty amazing eh, that the day would come when I finally found teachers who are really qualified to be teachers. Respect. Besides that, well probably gotta thank the other students in the library for bearing with our noisy ways. Lol. Oh and before I forgot, the new school librarians! Yep, even though I don't know your names, you guys have definitely done everything and more that librarians could ever do. Well, I'm feeling pretty tired now, so it's time to stop. 2 years have come and gone, I've probably, hopefully, become wiser and somehow or other straightened out my thinking. In 2 weeks time, it would be the start of the As and yet another life changing experience awaits. Well as always, in the oft quoted though seldom fully understood AC trademark, the best is yet to be. In the case probably the worse since 2 weeks to cramp 2 years of work is a little tight. AHahaahhha. Whoever said life was a bed of roses. Well it is but no one mentioned the thorns beneath.

Prelims

Well, well here we are at the end of the week. And this week is prelim week, so is next week and the week after. So as previously mentioned, I said I would report on the prelim happenings so here I am. First up, on Tuesday there was GP and Physics paper 3. GP was more like a joke with everyone sitting all over and everyone not bringing the entry proof and stuff. It's almost like as if it were at customs you know, no passport, no ticket etc. Lol then what the hell are you doing there anyway? Similarly, those clowns who keep forgetting their IC or entry proof, you guys seriously shouldn't be here. It's bloody irritating to have to wait for these jokers and they never seem to learn do they? Also, some people think the prelims are free seating. Apparently, 11 years and counting of education has not led them to read seating plans or even conceptualize the idea of one. So to those idiots who can't figure where they're seated, try the benches outside the swimming pool. I heard there's a pretty nice breeze and best of all, it's free seating.

Alright enough of the little eccentricities, moving on to the real thing. Physics was well as usual, Physics. You know, it's that weird feeling that Physics gives you when you didn't study? Well you guys probably wouldn't cos you all studied. Well MUGGERS! Muahaahahah, I'm too cool for school! Lol. But anyway, Physics pretty much sucked as usual but unlike someone I know, as least I didn't hand in a blank piece of paper. Seriously, I can't imagine me being returned my script the next day. Heh. And on Wednesday there was Econs which somehow tested everything that I didn't learn. Fantastic, just fantastic. Inflation, unemployment, recession, foreign exchange are all part of macro economy but no, global trade just had to pop out instead. But it's cool, Econs always is. Even if you didn't study, just do it and hope for the best. It's no lie but it ain't all truth either. So, yesterday was Maths and today was Chem paper 3. What can I say? Well nothing much given my lack of preparation as usual and the unpredictable nature of results. It's like I always come out of the hall full of hope that I did fine even if I didn't know shit bout the subject. And so I would collect my results with expectation in my heart and then, BAM! No A is bad enough but a mere scrap or a subpass, now that's the unpredictable nature of results for you. Delusions they call it, but let's just keep the status quo eh?

That must have been all the papers I've taken well unless I forgot to attend any which I highly doubt. So onto another issue. Odex. Yes, for all you anime lovers and people who read the newspapers, Odex has been quite a jerk recently. Firstly, let me say something. C'mon you cheap bastards, what the hell do you gain from slapping kids with $5000 fines? Cheap, cheap, cheap. No warning whatsoever, just the fine straight. You guys SUCK. No balls and bloody underhand. There are innocent parties out there and you press charges irregardless knowing full well most of them would be unable to afford the appeal costs. Well even if they did, I bet you would rather they pay the extra to you anyway. Seriously, that's no way to do business man. And forcing the ISPs' hands. You guys win lah, get the courts behind you so you can abuse consumers confidentiality. Get a life man. Let' see what you can do with those few thousands. Maybe arrange a nice funeral for yourselves? So, to all you anime lovers out there, even though I don't watch it and I don't see what's so nice about it, my sympathies with you. And if ever you tire of anime do come to Bnet and play dota with me. Make sure your CD is original too. Lol.

And that must be about all I have to say because it's time I go play dota. So till then, continue mugging and remember ODEX not downloading is BAD.

Prelims prelude

Alright, prelims are 2 days away and I can barely wait. You see unlike most of my friends who are dreading the prelims 'cos they're afraid of messing it up, I honestly can't be bothered anymore. All that the prelims have done was to make me one pissed off fella who has been stuck at home for the longest time ever, been unable to play dota freely and anytime I'm not revising which is most of the time, there's that little niggling warning at the back of my head. So as one can see, the prelims are a thorn in my side and therefore I simply can't wait for it to be over. And now just for the fun of it, let’s see how many ways I can pass my prelims. Assuming grades of A, B, C, D and E to be pass grades and the fact that I would still like to pass all my subjects, that means 5 different grades for 5 subjects each! So it'll probably be 5^5 because every subject is independent of the other, and the grades can be repeated and order doesn’t matter. So yea, 5*5*5*5*5 = 5^5. Woots! I've just revised permutations! And based on that, the probability of me getting 5 As is 1/3125 but the probability of me passing with any other grades is 3124/3125 which is 99.968%! Thus, one can see that aiming for 5 As is an inefficient allocation of resources. Hence, I should simply aim to pass because the chances of doing so are higher and this translates into more slack for me (I.e. Higher margin for error.) So folks, don't pressure yourselves too hard for prelims, as I've proven somewhat, passing isn't all that hard. In fact according to my (flawed) theory, one has a 99.968% chance of passing! But (in the words of some advertisement) why take my word for it? Try it for yourselves! Oh not to mention there'll probably be moderation too if enough people screw up. That means, your chances of passing is close to a 100%. Alright, enough for now, the real deal is in 2 days time. Till then, have fun mugging!

Prelims!

Alright it's been so long since I've posted anything here that I almost forgot about this space. So anyway, prelims are coming up and to celebrate this joyous occasion, I shall ensure that I document my prelims preparation to end as well as I can. And for all you other people in the school where I come from, apparently there's only 41 more days to prelims! That's like a little shy of 6 weeks which IMO is still a long, long time. To put things in perspective, try counting down in seconds. Last I tried I had in excess of 4 million seconds and it made me feel so at ease with myself. After all 4 million seconds is a long, long time until you realize that the seconds literally tick by. Muahaahhahaah.