Here we are now finally reaching the end of the 2 month well 3 months if you discount the post promos activities. So these holidays have been no different from last years 'cept that I've been having this nagging worry about something. Ah yes, school work. Simply because last year this time I didn't have any school to go to! Well what wouldn't I give to be "school - less" again? Anyway, Christmas is coming up this week. For the Christians, Merry Christmas and for everyone else, Seasons Greetings. Now, what the hell is Seasons Greetings? Christmas isn't exactly in between any 2 seasons but then since we're in Singapore and we only have one bloody season guess it don't really matter. But why Seasons Greetings I don't know, that's a question for the Gah men.
So, since Christmas is coming, guess it's time to write our letters to whom else? Santa Claus of course! It's really important to write to Santa else he might just forget your presents.
Dear Santa,
This year has been like every other year and I know it and you know it. Why? Cos I've been bad as usual and this probably explains why I haven't received a single present from you for the past seventeen years. You're really mean ya know Santa. Sure I've been a little evil and stuff but so has everyone else right? But you never ever gave me anything. Not even a reindeer. Damn you. But I'll get to that later Santa. Now I've something more pressing to discuss with you.
Recently, I've seen many videos of you behaving badly too. And it must have been real BAD Santa cos the videos had NSFW ratings. That's not suitable for work for the uninitiated meaning ahem highly inappropriate content. On top of that there've been news reports of you making rude comments to shoppers. See here. What do you have to say for yourself Santa? You jolly old hypocrite.
Now Santa I gotta ask you why are you always dressed in red, growing a beard and riding on reindeers? You're known as Father Christmas but Jesus didn't wear red, didn't have a beard and the best he rode on was a donkey. Thus Santa I think you’re one big fake and that's why I never receive any presents from you. Of course feel free to prove me wrong. And don't justify the lack of presents with my behavior cos you've been bad too Santa. So lean over and let me spank you, you bastard.
Merry Christmas and enjoy your hols Santa!
Yours Sincerely,
Nofing
I'm sure Santa has advanced with the times so he probably has a MacBook powered by a quad core Intel chip and of course WiFi connection, 802.11n no less so he'll be able to read my letter too. Alright, that's enough for now Merry Christmas everyone and don't forget to do your holiday homework!
